a real blog post

something really amazing happened.

For all those infrequent occasions on which I would talk to God, and wish... ask... hope that He had someone in mind for me. a friend, I've always needed my friend.

In high school i sucked it up and waited it out, not having a best friend. it bored me and made me sad but my family was there, it was all right. i hoped my highest and naive hopes that when i came to college i would find that perfect person! and hopefully at the start.

Come 1, 2, 3 years of being in boston.... every one of ~680 people i met both here and at home (facebook friends), not one of them was my best friend. where were they?? >< through terrible desperate and lonely times i bumbled through life, sometimes seeking God and sometimes trying to figure things out for myself. Dramatic things happened, people and i were messed up - confused - angry - sad - hoping - excited - glad - relieved, every dramatic emotion there is. but nobody really really cared for me hour-by-hour, here so that i could live for them, so we could hang out. all the time. no one despite my desperation. =/

Okay, so anyhow... that's all the miserable part of my life years. and who's to say that it's not still all downhill from here, from my miracle childhood of constant happiness.... [sad nostalgia] but things-

have now changed. at MIT.

i thought, i knew.... from the time i looked at the guide book to the 11 dorms, that i'd find the one i really liked. Senior Haus! I really liked it. i wanted to live there. Parents knew better, parents said NO.

i was forbidden to be with people who potentially shared the same interests and personality style.

so i skipped around a few places and i thought i knew that i was doing the best i could.
finally i had strong feelings that i finally needed to be where i really wanted to be. so i moved out of the place from prisonary solitude and into the fiery pit of hope.
Hmmm... most of an academic year went by, and i hardly talked to anyone in this place. suitemates were nice, thankfully. then



Tuesday after my one 24.08 philosophy final:
i wandered around into the courtyard, where Paula C. with purple hair, a girl who's always nice to me, was hanging out. Chances are she or Dorota was tire-swinging. A cool thing to watch.
I sat on the cement willing to socialize for a change, to pass the time now that I was partially free, to try to meet just a few more people. I should have known so many more by now ><;;

Paula was there, and a boy with pinkish purple-faded hair. which seems to be often in his eyes. she introduces me to him... josh. and goes swinging. Alison comes by, paula's best friend/roommate, and they sit and talk. i just hang out. At some point we all get on the bench over by the wall to spy on Hockfield's backyard and some caterers are there for a dinner party. Hmmm.

finally, paula and alison wander off and another guy is in the courtyard, swinging and josh is talking to him. This is awkward, my friend is gone... but I want to talk to josh some more..... well, after mulling around a little aimlessly i go back inside to the lobby. Hmm, that black guy wearing a purple shirt against proposition 8 is here. he has rainbow suspenders and he was cracking his genuine whip out in the courtyard. now that he's on the computer i wander over and talk to him about his shirt. He says some random things.. then he walks away to go back outside. Uhhh... hmmmm...

I was left sitting on the couch as (stephen?) walks out, and josh wanders in.... i can tell from the past half an hour that he's a really nice and considerate person. he wouldn't leave anyone out, and he knows a bit what you're feeling. did he come in looking for me? this is awkward, im just sitting there. does he care?
"Hey -- hanging out?"
"uhh, I was talking to stephen but he just walked out... lol"
"oh. =)"

then we ended up talking. he likes to build things, while i'm a lazy bio major not really interested in knowing how things work but more about the ease of the course through memorization rather than genius smarts. this kid seems pretty smart.

Then we say bye, and I add him as a friend on facebook. ...... his name is "josh muffinator." a gmail search shows one of the few emails he sent to the house was interlaced with "muffins." huh? I ask him on facebook, and apparently he just really likes muffins, nothing else connotated by the word. =)
I say, if he really insists on liking them so much I will have to bake some for him! i admire people that have passion for something.

So a day later I grab muffin mix.

Another day later i tell daniela we have to bake them. I will give some to him and some to the hall before they leave.

But... seems I got too much mix and not enough cups or tins. I email out to the dorm and ask for them... of course josh has tons! So i go to get them from him (there's like 10 muffin trays in the drawer) and he offers to help.. "If you want to help me. =)" yay! now we get to bake together....

We start baking in 2nd ware and make the chocolate ones first. Then daniela comes in to help but accidents happen and then she leaves. so.. then we experiment with baking and add to the plain muffin mix (no canned cruddy blueberries) sprinkles, marshmallows, stale honeycomb cereal, cinnamon, and oregano.

Hmmm.. then we're pretty tired because we both like to sleep early so forfeit the chocolate chip/cornbread mixes.

While waiting on the oven we talk... a lot. =)

he doesn't drink
he doesn't smoke
he doesn't do drugs (he tried a couple but is done)
he almost would have been a virgin but for a regreful event and now is a celibate person.


Now, the chances of all of these things being true in Senior is small, but in the view of little faith common sense would say that there's probably a strong correlation between all those values- if you have some, you have the others. :) including being a morning person! which I really am at this point in life. XD

So we're done baking, cleaning up... I give him most of the leftovers which people haven't yet snatched up to pass out to people he knows.
it's sad to say bye...

but a while later i realize, i didn't save one for someone who gave me baking cups!! >< so i frantically go down the hall to find him. can't find him... paula calls him with a ring and he comes back, with... an empty tray... =/ but, he already gave one to the girl i owed. :) so we're set.
Not wanting to leave them, i follow paula and josh to wherever they may be destined. Don't know exactly what happened, but we ended up at Towers in dimitri's room and we watched as he worked his amazing 1948 ham radio which had many knobs on it and could catch frequencies from all over the world. =) so so cool.
And we watched his light display which lit up to the notes of the songs. =) relaxing...

Then we watched some of Mister Lonely... a very interesting movie.

hours later we went up to the rooftop to sit on a ledge beyond the railing and to look out on the city. me and josh talked.

and then the sky started to light up.... so we went inside. it was chilly!

By this early in the morning, we found that we had so much in common, and we could get along, and so many other things you just can't describe. <3 this boy was everything i wanted in a best friend

.... a bit of silence and awkward pause after we ran out of conversation in a random hallway, and..

"so.... i think i would like to be really good friends with you..."

what he said to me felt like a proposal from the person of my dreams. he did like me!! my heart jumped. i was so happy... "i really like hanging out with you too, i mean... as you know, in the 3 years of being here at MIT there just aren't people like you here..." it was hard to keep myself from crying.

we went upstairs to hang out some more until it was about 5 am. we had to sleep!

So i slept for 4 hours, and woke up from habitual earlyness... went to the anime convention and picked a cat for him. gigi from kiki's delivery service, $37. but so cute. he liked it X)

Came back, he was finally awake =) we hung out for like 4 more hours as he showed me his electronics projects... then i went bowling with absk significantly tired. but it was fun.

I got back at midnight and was happy that josh was still awake. i went upstairs to help him pack til about 3, then we had to go to sleep again.... (hate saying goodbye)

getting up 6 hours later we set back to work packing up his stuff. his parents came by at 1, after we'd wandered around outside... and packed everything.. put it in the basement. come 5 pm it was time for him to leave and i'd acquired a few bags of his stuff, so he can stay with me in july when he comes back so he doesn't have to pay rent! hurray for having a best friend roommate, i do hope!

Also on saturday we took a ride around on his bike (Star [simpson]'s bike), and it was amazing. i loved it, it was amazing. ly fun. :)

i also have been entrusted with gonga, a crazy huggable gorilla who has 3 holes in him, unfortunately. check my facebook pic. =]

All in all it was about 23 hours of hanging out in a span of less than 2 days. I had so much fun, i really like this person....


And i'm really happy. probably the happiest i have ever been at MIT. though i've adjusted to living alone and with occasional social contact, and staying sane with leo, i found the one i really wanted. what can i say to God?




Okay, well.... it's complicated that josh has to be a boy.

complicated.

but we've established that he has a longtime-gf, as in best friend since 7th grade and they are pretty much made for each other and share the same brain. Nobody can compete against that, but

I'm just glad i have a friend /here/ at mit and not in some other place away from me!!!! T____T we have so much in common it's great to hang out.

And leo has some qualities that josh doesn't, such as his ridiculously silly sense of humor or interest in other things.

But josh is motivated and interested in things, and he DOES stuff. lots of cool stuff. i love that.

I like paula and josh because they take imagination and curiosity seriously. =) that says a billion words about them and me liking them.




Sigh... now he's gone, back to NY... for many weeks... and i'm here alone to study up on bones and organs ...


i'm really happy..... next year is going to be amazing!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3


btw, josh has very beautiful eyes. when they aren't behind his hair. =)